Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Enjoying the experience

Again, lack of posts. Writing is slowly getting put on the back burner. Though I should really be paying more attention to this aspect of my life. I am trying to understand the direction my life is taking, and I am unsure of what type of Master's program to apply for in the next couple years. Next year though, I am looking into going abroad and actually SEEING the world. I know a lot of people saw this movie, Eat, Pray, Love but the book is phenomenal. I guess it's what started this whole new though process of refinding my passion.

While I am enjoying the work I am doing now, I am also missing being in WI. I miss my friends and I miss what I had there. My two year relationship is over and I'm having a hard time. And around this time of the year, it's hard to not miss the people who you love. But just like the heroine of the movie, I was just unhappy with where I was a year ago. In school, not sure where my future was going, in a relationship where I love the other so much but I just couldn't figure out what I wanted. And I still don't know now. I want these next years to be that, learning what I want. I don't have the resources to fund spending a year just traveling, so I'm hoping to get into a teach English as a second language program.

Yet though, I am making great friends here and now, I couldn't have passed this experience up for anything. I feel like this year is my first part of my story. Taking a year to give back. While at times I wish it was more hands on and I saw more of the difference, I know that I am doing a lot of good. I'm learning a lot as well being at this school and working with this program. So maybe the first word in my own version of Eat, Pray, Love  is Serving.

I feel that the volunteer work I do right now is helping me look at what I got as a child. While this private school is filled to the brim with uppity brats, there are the few that I have gotten to know that do volunteer work because it makes them feel good and they love doing it. They don't do it for recognition anymore, they are not doing it to make their college applications look better, they are not doing it because their parents are making them, they are doing it because they want to. Of course,  some of them volunteer because of those reasons and while they are not bad reasons, I had the same reason for volunteering in high school, those students are just not as excited about it. The students who have that passion are great to work with and inspire me. That inspiration is great and does help when I'm sitting at my desk staring at my computer screen and wondering what the heck I should be doing! It's funny to think and go back to where I was in 2006, waiting to hear back from colleges and trying to to figure out what I wanted to do. Did I want to go into architecture? Did I want to go into journalism? Did I just want to go into English?  I had no idea! I thought college would help me pick a passion, but it didn't.

So now, I'm cynical about finding a passion for my life and maybe it's time that my passion just be living my life! Why not? I have nothing (besides an empty bank account) keeping me from living my life to it's fullest. Serving is helping fill a hole I have, fulfilling my need to give back. This year isn't really all about me, it's about what I can do to make something better. I need to just enjoy this experience because I don't want to look back next year and think I should have done something differently. It's time to just enjoy life.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Slow at the grind from 7:30 til 4

I never thought that I would be more exhausted from sitting at a desk all day to running between classes and work. I also didn't think I would be passing out every night by 10, since I'm getting up by 5:30 in the morning.
It's not that bad, I'm sure I'll be getting used to it sooner than later, even if almost two months have gone by since I started! Thankfully, I'm getting more projects every week so I'm no longer dawdling my time away as I was for the past several weeks. I'm thoroughly enjoying my experience as I have gotten to know my fellow VISTAs and see more of New Hampshire.
Who ever thought though school should be at 730 in the morning is a masochist. I have never really understood why it has to be so gosh darn early! I remember being up by 5:45 to make my 6:50 bus in  VA, and getting up almost just as early for high school in MI. It is interesting...it never seemed to be so hard to wake up in the morning!
I have also started developing a taste for coffee (yuck) every morning, except today thankfully. I just hope I don't turn into my mother who gets up an hour early every morning in order to drink her two cups of coffee before work. I like my sleep.

Life seems to be moving along very slowly, as work has not been very busy for me. I am hoping, and that prayer has been answered, for my work to pick up. I'm thankful to have two separate supervisors who have projects for me to do, I'm just hoping I don't have weeks of activity and then a month of waiting.

Well I hope the fall is treating everyone well!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

New post!

Well, it certainly has been a while since I posted! I had been busy figuring out a lot of things, relationships, friendships, and where the heck i was going to be once I graduated. I am very happy and lucky to have been given a position in AmeriCorps Vista in Manchester, NH. I am excited and nervous, since I'm starting in about two weeks. I have training and such coming up, so I'll be meeting all the other Vistas in the program with me. But here is a brief synopsis of what has been going on in my life!

1. I graduated from Marquette
2. I moved in with my parents, and was there for a month...
3. I have been working for my aunt in IL, taking care of my cousins...I'm trying to earn money so that I can buy a new laptop since unfortunately my Maccy is dying :(
4. I have a job! YAY! I'm super excited about it. Here is a small run down of what it entails
 I will be working under the volunteer coordinator at a school in Manchester(I'm not giving to much specific specs, don't want anyone stalking or me getting the school in trouble). I will be put in charge of a portion of the volunteer opportunities for both the middle school and high school, and I'll be in charge of coordinating the annual Habitat for Humanity trip the high school does. I'll also be working with a program that resides in the school, called BreakThrough, which helps under privileged kids with school work and helps them stay on track to go to college. I already saw what a day looks like for their summer camp, which is how they start off the program in sixth grade. It follows them up through high school. I'll be helping with workshops, getting volunteers, and coordinating activities to get the kids excited and focused.
I am super excited to be starting soon and with my last week at my aunts. I was able to spend time with my boyfriend( :) ) and see friends who I hadn't had the chance to say bye to really when I left at the end of May. Living at my parents for the first month was super boring, but having now joined a gym, I am getting back into shape.

Now here are the ideas that I want to do with this blog. I have another, which I am going to be using to focus on building a writing repertoire and less of a day to day blog. That blog had originally been designed as a "Lessons Learned" and I'd like to continue it as such. As I graduated with my Writing Intensive Degree, I want to possibly use this blog to post stories/ chapters and also as more serious writing of essays and such. I would love to get into a MFA Creative Writing program, but I need to work on it first. I think I will start by posting a story I wrote awhile here in the next couple of days and then see how many people post feedback. I'd love for comments from some of the readers I have!

Anyway, this is starting to ramble so I must be getting hungry! I'll occasionally post on how my work is going and what I'm doing, but not so often I hope!

Enjoy your summer's everyone! It's almost over!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

new direction

I have now successfully graduated college and am a proud member of AmeriCorps Vista! I will continue writing(now that I have internet and more time). I hope all is well and I will keep intouch!

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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Health, Diet, and Exercise Bookshelf

After finishing my applications for VistaCorps, I have been working hard on my classes(well kinda) and I have been with my friends more and more.
My job on campus has been winding down and it's the employee of the year banquet coming up. While getting our employee their little job well done gift, I was at Barnes and Nobles killing time. I was just wandering around trying to find some things to get my friends, when I came across the  Exercise/Diet/Health section. There were at least 3 full bookshelves that were just for Diet alone, one for Health, and then another two for just Exercise books. As I traversed through the aisles, I was just astounded by all the books. I am not the healthiest eater, the most fit athlete, or even an athlete but it just astounds me by the vast amount of books out on this subject. I thought that maybe one of these would be able to help me get into a routine, but why are there so many? I then started trying to find books that would be geared towards college students, since let's face it, we tend to eat the worst out of any age demographic. But there really isn't any book besides one I saw. I realized though that a book isn't always going to help every person, but the extent of this is gross.
The fact that there were so many different books amazes me by the sheer fact that the variety doesn't really change, except if you are choosing a specific diet. Each book basically says the same thing..."Work out daily, eat less, and make healthy choices for food." How do they really think consumers will be able to choose with all of those different books? And most of the time, the reader isn't able to keep themselves disciplined enough to stick to the diet plan.

It just makes me angry because if these diets even worked, then why would there need to be another book on dieting?! HMMMM?!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

A month later and results are in

So, unfortunately for myself, I was not accepted into TfA, so I am currently looking into several different opportunities.
I've started applying to Vista, so I'm hoping that I can be placed somewhere in New Hampshire, which will make life a little easier to be closer to my parents.
I'm also looking into the MFA programs I want to apply to next year. I have a lot of friends who applied and slowly getting their replies back, and its pretty cutthroat out there. I'm hoping to concentrate on my writing, since right now is not the ideal scenario for me to write constructively.

I'm excited for my student manager job to end, since it means I'll be having my own life again and not surrounding myself with a lot of negative energy. I feel that this year did not go very well, just with all the problems that have occurred between myself and supervisors and fellow workers. I know where my fault lies and I've grown from that. I wonder if others see where they caused the problem though, which I highly doubt.

As I recall how this year went, I think I have paid too much attention to very insignificant details and didn't concern myself with what I really want to do. It has become too much about  sacrificing what I want to do to appease others, so I'm better at my job, at my school work, at caring for others. I'm tired and excited to graduate and to leave this place. I've become to comfortable and need to make myself uncomfortable.

Here is a little thought:

When you let others control
Thoughts, actions, words
It leads you to only care about
                            their interpretation
Of what they think of your

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A Post...finally

Dare I say it? I think I shall. I graduate in 5 months and 4 days. I am not at a loss for what this means because it is understandably clear as to what it means.
It all revolves around the fact that I get antsy after so long in one place. I am not stagnant water. And my prospects are looking FABULOUS to me.
Most currently on the block is this:
1. Teach for America.
I hear officially about this in 2 days...If I am so lucky to get in, I will be going.
2. New Hampshire
This is the choice I have made incase I do not get into TfA. Do I mind moving back home with my parentals? Yes, but I am not a half-wit and know its the safest and smartest idea with a college student with possibly no job outcomes.
3. AmeriCorps/VistaCorps
Of course though, I am looking into places where I can volunteer by my parents, but this is a sound option for the sole purpose that I love a good volunteering experience. And, with no pay I live at home or work at night? Hmmm...bartending school?
4. TeachEast
I have been wanting to go to China or Japan since I was a freshmen at Marquette.

For now, this is an incomplete list. Which should be edited by Thursday of this week!